bitterness

Conferences of St. John Cassian - Conference Sixteen on Friendship Part III Conclusion

Cassian and Germanus conclude there discussion with Abba Joseph by discussing the various kinds of feigned patience that mask the anger and bitterness that we can hold in our hearts towards others.  Our words may be smoother than oil but become darts meant to wound.  One can relish gaining the position of emotional advantage over the other while maintaining the perception of virtue; fasting or embracing greater silence in a diabolical fashion that only increases pride rather than fostering humility.  Again, Abba Joseph reminds us that our desire should be not only to avoid anger ourselves but to sooth and calm the annoyance that arises in another's heart. We cannot be satisfied with our own sanctity; as if that could exist at the expense of others.  We must enlarge our hearts so as to be able to receive the wrath of others and transform it through love and humility.  By humble acts of reparation we should seek to diminish anger at every turn rather than inflame it.

Ladder of Divine Ascent - Step Eight On Placidity and Meekness

CALMING THE STORM: ADDRESSING OUR ANGER AND BITTERNESS TOWARD OTHERS.It is only through attaining the virtue of mourning spoken of in the previous step that placidity and meekness may be achieved. For it is mourning which destroys all anger and any desire to be spoken well of in this life.Placidity, or freedom from anger, begins when one keeps silent even when the heart is moved and provoked. Slowly the virtue develops as one learns to control and silence his thoughts during an angry encounter. Eventually one is able to remain calm even when a tempest rages about him. Freeing oneself from anger, however, requires great humility and meekness. For to be free from anger necessitates that one be calm, peaceful and loving to a person who has treated him wrongly. This is what makes a monastery such a wonderful training ground in John's eyes. For it is there that one is purified through the constant reproofs and rebuffs of his fellow monks. Such reproof gradually cleanses a soul of this passion.